On prince charming disease.
You’ve got Prince Charming disease. It’s a combination of attention deficit disorder, low grade narcissism, a youthful expectation of romantic perfection, and a healthy dose of self-esteem issues on your part.
I can’t talk you out of this kind of immaturity. You’ve got to battle this one on your own. The good news is that at least you’re self aware. That’s the first step.
Next, you need to realize in your heart of hearts that you are worthy of actual love. That will help dampen the fight-or-flight response that kicks in when a man shows you genuine affection.
Finally, you need to plow through enough guys to realize that they’re all basically the same. That way, when you find a good one, not only will you be able to spot him, but you’ll also be comfortable in the knowledge that nothing better is waiting around the corner on a white horse.
Consider yourself slapped.
Best of luck.
I discovered Dear Coke Talk recently. I was following Coke Talk for a while without really knowing why, and it was only when I discovered DCT that I realized why everyone loves this bitch so much.
When I first started reading, her advice seemed super abrasive and off-point and it just seemed like she was attacking the very character of these poor people. And then I realized - that’s the fucking point and that’s why this shit is so great! In most cases she doesn’t even really address the situation at hand - she evaluates the person writing and gets at the deeper issues behind the situation. Which usually involves a lot of shit-talking about the person writing.
Because hello! People are so narcissistic and selfish and immature. In some cases it’s really obvious, in others less so. People hide behind words, and they very very frequently play the victim. Or they’re just plain delusional.
And reading like 20 pages of the blog in the early am hours at night, I started realizing how I am also narcissistic and selfish and immature and man, shit was eye-opening. It was fucking REFRESHING. Like I could literally feel my thought process changing as I began to understand where she was coming from.
All sorts of shit is flying right now with my relationship with R, and I’m really hoping I can bring this newfound understanding of how my narcissism, selfishness and immaturity plays itself out in my daily life to the table.
We have a lot of shit to work through, but I’m beginning to think that breaking up is not the right answer. To start with, a lot of the things that we thought were the other person’s problem - and that we thought we could therefore solve by getting rid of each other - are actually, surprise! our own problem. By breaking up we’re getting rid of the symptom but not the disease. By breaking up we’re not really learning anything.
And that’s the point, right? To learn. And if we don’t end up back together then at least it’s something we can carry with us to the next one.
We’ll see what happens.
xx
