This wasn’t really how I wanted to turn 25.
This wasn’t really what I envisioned for myself when I thought about turning 25, when I was 10, when I was 16, when I was 20, etc.
Being 25 feels fucking insane. When did this happen? I graduated high school like 2 years ago. right? didn’t I?
Last night at dinner my grandpa wished me “above all, health, because that is the most important thing, but also happiness, and also a husband.”
My mom toasted to my “happiness, with or without a husband,” but my grandpa interrupted her to insist “no no, there must be a husband. there is no happiness without a husband”
so that’s where I’m at I guess. this is the age where people start to worry.
Personally I’m far more concerned about finding a full-time job with like, benefits to pay for the dumb physio that I’m still doing because of the time I broke my stupid tibia in May, and a salary to afford a sweet apartment and a great liquor cabinet. you know? the important things.
husbands? they’re like a dime a dozen.
Anyway this wasn’t even what I wanted to talk about.
I wanted to say how I’m really feeling this ‘discontentment with where I’m at’ thing. it’s good. it’s healthy. it’s motivational. satisfaction’s a killer, you know? satisfaction’s no fun. satisfaction means you’re not gonna be lying awake at 2 in the morning suddenly thinking “hey, maybe you should volunteer somewhere. right? volunteering is a thing. it’d be good for your soul, good for filling that weird hole in your heart that you always hoped your job would fill, good for your resume, good for getting you out of the house and maybe meeting some new people so you finally stop occasionally panicking about the fact that over the past 2 years you’ve lost like half of your friends and will lose the half of the remaining half in the next few months because everyone’s moving out of the country/province/city. (what is UP with that, I had a million friends when I was 21, now I have like 4.) anyway yeah go do that thing. things are good. do things.”
you know? you don’t do anything when you’re satisfied. that’s why couples are so fucking boring.
anyway yeah things are fine.